Posted by: billysuperstar | May 23, 2011

A Very Special Comment

I received the following comment on my post, “Season 1 Reviewed” today.  I try to make a point of sticking to the reviews and not straying outside of that format very much on this blog but I thought that this particular comment warranted its very own post:
Submitted on 2011/05/23 at 12:14 am | In reply to billysuperstar.

Uhh…I really hope you’re being sarcastic. You know it’s “cross I bear” not “cross-eyed-bear,” don’t you?

Also, do you really have nothing better to do with your time than to keep a blog purely for the purpose of bashing a TV show that’s been off the air for sixteen years? I mean, it would be one thing if this show was still making episodes or if anyone really cared to read your shallow opinion, (cause let’s just be honest, that’s all this is..), but don’t you think it’s a little odd for you to be airing all of this just now? I mean, heaven forbid anyone catch a rerun of this “horrible” show! It’s not taking up a primetime spot and it’s not like you even have to see any commercials for it, so what’s the deal? Seriously, why aren’t you spending your time actually contributing something to society in a positive way?

Oh, and one more thing…if you really see fit to continue this silly little project, at least do some research. Even a little bit would be much better than the obvious ZERO you’ve put in thus far…
If you’d done any research whatsoever, or perhaps even just went as far as to turn off the reruns and get off the couch, you’d be aware of the fact that almost all of the Full House cast members went on to accomplish many more things after the show ended. As a matter of fact, your Kimmy Gibbler (aka: Andrea Barber, whom I’m also a fan of so I say this with no disrespect), probably was the one who has stayed out of the spotlight the most. That’s not to say she’s been unsuccessful–she’s a stay at home mom to a beautiful family, and I’m sure very proud of her accomplishments, as she should be.
But you should also know that Candace Cameron-Bure (in case you’re not quite up to date, as I suspect you aren’t, “Bure” comes from NHL star, Valeri Bure, her husband of 15 years), has definitely kept busy herself. She’s a very successful motivational Christian speaker, a New York Times best selling author, she’s remained in the public eye doing several movies and TV guest spots, and is currently one of the stars of ABC Family’s highly-successful “Make It Or Break It.” Not to mention her three beautiful children that undoubtedly keep her busy.
So yeah, I suppose if that’s your definition of unsuccessful, your statement would be accurate.

Dave Coulier has continued with his successful stand-up comedy. Bob Saget has had a few (albeit short-lived) sitcom and game-show hosting
stints. Mary-Kate and Ashley are enormously successful business moguls, running several high-end clothing companies out of NY and LA. That might not seem impressive to you, but I’m pretty sure their billions of dollars speak otherwise…

Heck, even Steve became Aladdin and Comet hit it big with a little thing called “Air Bud.”

Here’s a new plan for ya: turn off the TV and go get a job….or pick up a book? Maybe go to school. Do something worth something with your life…

That’s the end of the comment.  I thought it raised a few interesting issues so I decided to post a response:

First of all, yes, I am aware that the Alanis Morrisette lyric is, “cross I bear” and not, “cross eyed bear.”  I was making a joke.  Don’t you think it kind of sounds like she’s saying, “cross eyed bear”?  I always thought so.  Anyway, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to the real shit.

I could never blame anyone who’s a fan of Full House for thinking that I’m an asshole for writing this blog.  If I saw a similar blog that shit all over a show that I liked, for example “Taxi” or “I Love Lucy,” then, yeah, I’d probably think it was pretty annoying (I also wouldn’t bother to read it).  In my opinion, Full House is the worst sitcom of all time, and there’s nothing that you could say or do to change my mind.  Alternately, you seem to think it’s pretty darn good, and no amount of criticism on my end will persuade you to think otherwise.  Probably the most constructive thing here would be to agree to disagree, but since you took the time to write a long, thorough, patronizing  comment that takes a number of personal shots at me, I thought I might at least clarify my intentions a little.

I guess the thing that really bothers me is your assumption that I am uneducated, unemployed, have nothing constructive to contribute to society and nothing better to do than sit around all day criticizing a terrible tv show.  Just to clarify:  I have a college degree, a full-time career that I’m very proud of and, in my humble opinion at least, has done good things for people other than myself.  Finally, yes, I do have a lot of better things to do than write this blog and, frankly, keeping up with these weekly posts has been a huge pain in the ass.  Since I’ve started this blog I’ve moved across the country and completed dozens of work-related projects and maintaining this blog sure as shit hasn’t made doing any of those things any easier.  So why do I do it?  Part of the reason I started this blog was to maintain a regular writing exercise, but it’s also a lot of fun.  I was actually seriously considering calling it quits a few months in but then I suddenly found an audience and, despite your claim that no one wants to read my shallow opinions, the main reason I keep it up is to entertain the thousands of people who read it every week.

This is an entertainment blog.  That’s all it is.  Like most (if not all) of my audience, I watched a hell of a lot of tv growing up.  Watching Full House, not because it was actually a good show but rather because it was compellingly awful, was a part of my childhood, and apparently this is an experience I’ve shared with a lot of other people.  Also like most (if not all) of my audience, I have a job that allows me to spend way too much time screwing around on the internet.  I’m always looking for a fun blog to read when I’m supposed to be working and so I thought I’d try to make one for other people.  This isn’t a political statement or a manifesto or anything of the sort, it’s just a ridiculous hobby that takes a few hours out of my week that a few thousand people have taken a liking to.  Is that really worth getting so bent out of shape about?

As far as not doing enough research about the cast, all I have to say is that I honestly don’t give a shit about any of those people.  After reading your lengthy paragraphs about their many achievements, I care even less.  One thing I found ironic about your pissed off diatribe is that Kimmie Gibbler and I have actually had a few brief exchanges over twitter and she seemed pretty amused by the blog.  Honestly, if you made millions of dollars and fans from being on that show, would you care at all about what one guy thinks about it?  I sincerely doubt it.  Finally, how would you define success?  Sure, Dave Coulier probably made more money last weekend than I make in a year, but does that make him successful?  That guy hasn’t told one funny joke in over 20 years of being a comedian.  Sure, he was on a tv show and he had a shitty song written about him, but in my opinion sucking at what you do is not success, no matter how much money you make.

Although I found your comment to be presumptuous and bitchy, it was also the first bit of negative feedback I’ve received that was written in complete sentences.  So kudos to you!  Here’s to many more years of Full House Reviewed, and I hope your patronizing rant is not the last!

xoxo

Billy Superstar

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Responses

  1. Word!

  2. Oh man, where to begin….?

    First of all, I am compelled to assume that the writer of this rant is none other than Candace Cameron-Bure herself. I was going to guess Dave Coulier, but given that the longest paragraph spent on defending people is Candace, I switched guesses.

    Secondly, I hope you really weren’t troubled by this rant, as you sort of seemed to be. 😦 That said, I, too, greatly enjoy negative rants. The negativer, the better. }:) So I enjoyed this. I particularly enjoy the fact that his (her?) primary argument was basically ad hominem–defending the people involved–when that bears absolutely no relevance to the point of this blog whatsoever.

    lol, stupidity. It really cracks me up. 🙂

    • Right, like the fact that Candace Cameron got married and had kids somehow means she wasn’t paid to spout horrible, unfunny dialogue when she was a kid?

  3. That picture kinda says it all, doesn’t it? 🙂

    I love people who think that blogging is some kind of full time job that prevents the writer from doing anything else.

    You spend a few hours a week poking fun at a dumbass TV show for the entertainment of others. It’s not like you’re killing puppies or something…

  4. Oh hail no. I love your blog. I love it a lot. I also love Full House. Your blog actually inspired me to do my own recap blog, of Ms. Candace Cameron-Bure’s “highly successful” TV show, Make It or Break It. I love the show, but damned if it’s not the stupidest thing on TV right now. That doesn’t make me love it any less. But writing a blog about a silly TV show actually takes a lot of time. To rewatch these mind-numbing episodes, and then try to write something entertaining and creative takes more effort than people might expect.

    So to the commenter, eff off.

    • thanks, spanny! send me the url for your make it or break it blog so i can put it on my blogroll.

  5. Hey thanks! You’ll see that it’s shockingly similar to yours. But I just never seem to grow tired of screencaps that make the actors look as horrible as possible.

    http://spannysbigfakesmile.blogspot.com/

    • done deal! hey, how come you get way more comments than i do? youve got more facebook fans, too. dang!

      • Ha, I lucked out with a built-in fan base. Since it’s supposed to be a show about gymnastics, all of the real life gymnasts and fans freaked out, because it’s actually pretty insulting to the sport.

      • dont sell yourself short! a built-in audience certainly helps but people keep reading it because its well made. well done!

  6. I thought your reviews were okay and sometimes funny but I too fail to understand why you didn’t pick a show you liked instead of one you clearly hate. Don’t get me wrong, FH is not my show, I am no one’s lawyer so I don’t care what you say about them;and I am not this big fan either.But I never understood why people watch something they hate instead of something they like just to criticize.I agree with so many things you say about this show,I’ve noticed them myself.I would not, however start a blog to criticize them, I may right an article or two on my blog and that’s about it.PS You do have writing skills.

    • that’s actually a really interesting question, roxy. i guess the truth is that i do like full house in a way: i like how much i hate it. ive been watching this show since i was a kid and the phrase that’s always fit best is that i find it “compellingly awful.” and call me what you will but i think its really funny to talk about how bad it is. to me its like making lemons from lemonade. part of the reason i keep this blog is because i would have read it if someone else had made it before me. i know it’s dumb but so are a lot of things on the internet. another reason i keep the blog is because i wanted to create a writing exercise for myself, so the subject i picked was actually pretty arbitrary. its more important to me that i get an article written that’s x words long and is fun to read than that i preach the gospel about how hard this show sucks. so part of why i write about full house is because its easy. this isnt my grand artistic effort, its a ridiculous hobby i keep on the side when im not working on my grand artistic effort. anyway, i think this project is a big enough waste of time already when im not defending myself so i think ill just suck it up if anyone else writes a comment that makes me question why im doing such a long and worthless project. thanks a lot for saying i have writing skills! thats really what its all about.

      • You know,you’re answer kind of makes sense. And I truly enjoy you’re blog. And I know what you mean by everything else was taken.I run a Ghost Whisperer blog because every other show I like more than GW(although I actually like this show) was taken. Sorry if it sounded somehow else, but I didn’t mean you should stop. I enjoy it and so do many other people and now I can sort of see where you’re coming from 🙂 Keep it up.it’s definitely one of a kind 😀 I only meant why would you torture yourself lol. I hope my comment didn’t seem mean spirited.

      • thanks, roxy! send me a link to your ghost whisperer blog so i can blogroll it! let me know if you want it titled a certain way…

  7. I’m the living proof that someone can be both a fan of the show and a fan of your blog (and I hope that I fit into the writing-with-complete-sentences group of FH fans, as English is not my native language – I’m trying my best ;)). As I said some time ago, I agree with you on almost everything you point out about this show not being the greatest sitcom of all time. I could probably engage in a discussion and try to counter most of your arguments from my standpoint (i.e., that this show was never meant to be sound in terms of continuity and, serving a particular didactic purpose, both the characters and the plotlines are grossly exaggerated to clearly illustrate a point), but that’s not the point here, is it? As you said, this is an entertainment blog and it’s damn good at serving its purpose. I for one look forward to your reviews every week. Please continue with your project!

    • thanks, jeannie! i appreciate your unique perspective. im glad theres at least one full house fan out there that doesnt feel towards me the way i feel towards uncle joey.

  8. My response to that commenter would have been “Your face!” but your response has a certain more thought out, intellectual quality to it…if you’re into that kind of thing.

    I also like how the commentor talks about how you have no life yet they seemed to know way more about the Full House actors’ lives than anyone should…unless it is one of them.

  9. You know you’ve arrived when you get a) all out hate mail defending the “dignity” of the subject in question; b) a dedicated and appropriately hateful troll; c) blogged/mocked by one of the infinite blogs that cater to adolescent males on the internet

    Your on your way, my good sir.

  10. wow, thanks, that is so nice of you. I will definitely do the same for your blog. I am only getting started and it’s not as good as yours(I’m working on it lol) . Here’s the link http://www.ghostwhisperereg.com naming it Ghost Whisperer Episode Guide is probably fine. What do you want me to name yours?

    • done deal. if youd link to me as Full House Reviewed it’d be most appreciated! us meticulous episode review blogs gotta stick together!

      • you couldn’t be more right about that lol

  11. I absolutely love your blog and the Full House. I honestly don’t think the two are mutually exclusive, as some have already pointed out. I also am really glad you took the time to answer the questions point by point.

    And I hope that your final photo for your review is you and Kimmy Gibbler, looking awesome. (I’m working my way through this blog, so apologies if this photo already exists)

  12. Whoever wrote this takes the show way too seriously. I am a fan of the show and enjoy watching reruns but that doesn’t mean it’s not funny to read someone else pointing out the flaws in the show.

    I think Candace Cameron wrote this as well. I can’t imagine anyone defending the cast as thoroughly as this person did and the writing style is very similiar to her tweets on twitter. If not Candace then one of the other cast members, or someone who knows way too much about these actors lives.

    Anyway, this is productive to society. It provides entertainment for those of us who wants a good laugh. Keep up the good work.

  13. I am a fan of Full House. I watched it as a child, I own all 8 seasons on DVD, and I bring it with me so the little girls I babysit can watch it with me. They think it’s hysterically funny because it’s so outdated, and we bond.

    I legitimately love watching it. But not because it’s GOOD. I totally know that almost everything about this show is nutso, but I still love it.

    And guess what? I love this blog. I would love for you to do this same thing for Roseanne and the Cosby Show. I know you link to a Cosby blog here, but it’s not the same type of content that you produce. KEEP UP THIS AMAZING WORK.

  14. I found this blog around three weeks ago and have been reading through the backlog so that I can catch up with your new posts. This helped pass the time on a veeeery long train ride and made the people around me uncomfortable because I had finally stopped even trying to contain my laughter.

    Keep it up!

  15. I’m not ashamed to admit that this is one of my favorite shows of all time. I own the complete series, the one that comes in the house-shaped box. However, I also recognize that it’s NOT a good show. It’s pretty terrible and lame, but for whatever reason, I enjoy the hell out of it. Which I think is the reason I love your blog so goddamn much. I think this show is god-awful in the best possible way, and your commentary is spot-on. Keep it up! Haters gonna hate!

  16. Damn. I was ready to say “oh, come ON, would it really be Candace Cameron?” (yeah yeah, I’m from Vancouver, we had the REAL Bure NHL star here) until I saw this:

    “Not to mention her three beautiful children that undoubtedly keep her busy.”

    Uh.. “her three *beautiful* children”? Unless this is posted by a terrifying Candace-Cameron-Bure stalker of the first order, no one other than ‘mom’ should be referring to the kids as ‘beautiful’.

    Sorry babe, but you just outed yourself.

  17. (also, how does she feel on the contribution of the banana to the argument against evolution?)

  18. Oh, and so the commenter was ‘Lauren’? Might this be the source of the pseudonym?

    http://www.wetpaint.com/american-idol/photo/american-idol-lookalikes-lauren-alaina-suddeth-and-candace-cameron-bure

    http://cheezburger.com/monkeycat44/lolz/View/4754950400

    (crap. I just realized that I now qualify as the aforementioned “terrifying Candace-Cameron-Bure stalker of the first order”. Good night folks, don’t forget to tip your server!)

  19. (dammit! I found one more link of the previously unchecked. But I have NO idea WTF this is about. Candace Cameron vs.. Lauren … Bacall??

    http://www.lastcombat.com/Lauren_Bacall_vs_Candace_Cameron.html)

    wtfidon’teven!

    • i never really thought it was candace cameron before but now im kinda thinking maybe it was after all….


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